Tooth picky

TRICKY thing this tooth fairy malarkey. A reader was staying in her daughter’s house in Bearsden when her crowned tooth fell out and her seven-year-old grandson said she should put it under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy to come. Says our reader: “I duly did this and the fairy very generously left me £5. However, when I phoned my dentist to have it refitted my grandson overheard and told me, ‘Oh no –you can’t, as the tooth fairy has got it. But I can write her a letter asking her to bring it back – but you will have to give her the money back’.”

Throwaway remark
NOT many laughs at the Tory Party conference, but at least Boris Johnson had a go at humour when he told the conference that he had to run the gauntlet of protesters outside throwing eggs and water bombs. He added: “We need to do even more to  encourage more sport in schools. Particularly ball games because they managed to miss me with every single projectile that they threw.”

Sterling work

AS others see us. Actor Roger Moore has written a new book on the Bond films entitled Bond On Bond in which he quotes director Terence Young as urging film-maker Cubby Broccoli to make Sean Connery a partner when the Scotsman was thinking of giving up the role as James Bond. Said Terence: “Sean will stay with you because he’s a Scotsman. He likes the sound of gold coins clinking together.”
More amusing is the tale of actor Noel Coward being asked to play the villain in Dr No. Coward replied in a telegram stating: “Dr No? No! No! No!”

For the record ...

MUCH excitement it seems that American singer Janet Jackson will be appearing in Glasgow next year. We remember however when Janet appeared in Glasgow in the 1990s, and The Herald reviewer at the time disdainfully wrote: “I left when Janet imperiously summoned some geek from the throng. Then she molested him with her Wonderbra. Steady on, missus.”

It’s barking

A CROY reader heard two women on the train into Glasgow discussing the difficulties of renting properties with one declaring: “I get the impression that landlords who don’t allow dogs, but do allow children, don’t know very much about children.”

Sin binned

WE mentioned England finally getting round to charging for plastic shopping bags this week. A reader in London phones to tell us: “I saw a plastic bag with a replica England rugby shirt abandoned in the street. I immediately rushed over to claim it – these bags are worth 5p after all.”

Star trekking

AFTER The Herald story about Alex Salmond booking airline tickets as James Kirk so that he could travel incognito, a letter writer to the paper suggested we should all travel as Alex Salmond so that we can take turns, like Spartacus, to stand up and claim to be Alex Salmond. However, Foster Evans tells us: “One visit to Stornoway Airport when they ask for Mr Macleod would put him off that idea for all time.”