TENSE time in Brussels with troops everywhere in the continuing hunt for terrorists. As American journalist Laurence Norman who works there for the Wall Street Journal put it: "Reasons not to leave office: One, the weather. Two, get shot. Three, shops closed. Four, get interviewed by fellow journalists about fear of getting shot."

THOUGHTS on growing up by a reader who tells us: "When I was a teenager I assumed the best thing about being an adult would be going to bed as late as I wanted. Little did I realise that it's actually the opposite."

THE SNP held a debate at Westminster yesterday on whether the country should spend a fair amount of dosh on renewing Trident. Labour MP John Woodcock, perhaps envious that all the SNP MPs were in agreement, declared that "every single one of you are robots". When an SNP MP claimed that this was unparliamentary language, the nimble Deputy Speaker, Eleanor Laing, who is a Kilmacolm lass, declared it was fine as the Labour MP could have been referring to highly advanced robots.

OUR story about St Andrews caddies reminds entertainer Andy Cameron of when he was an enthusiastic beginner at the game, and was trying just a bit too hard when he teed off at the home of golf. Says Andy: "The caddie waited until we were walking down the fairway before offering his opinion which was, 'Try slowing yer backswing doon tae a blur'."

EDINBURGH-BASED airline seat company Skyscanner was having an on-line discussion with customers about the difficulties of knowing what they can or cannot take on board as hand luggage. One customer told them: "At Palma airport, an Easyjet attendant insisted a man's cabin bag was too big and said he would either have to pay an extra £50 or leave it behind. The man, now very angry, said he had measured it and pulled out a tape measure to prove it. The attendant said rather cockily, 'Ah, but you are not including the wheels'. At that point the man snapped the wheels off, put them on the counter and said, 'You're right, I'm not including the wheels, you can have them'. He walked off carrying his bag leaving the attendant open mouthed."

He does sound Scottish, doesn't he?

MUCH excitable discussion on social media yesterday about Turkey downing a Russian plane, and what it would mean for the rest of the world. As American Adam Roberts complained: "I clicked on a message about Turkey expecting it to be about how to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and it turned out to be about World War Three."

"IS there a new Diary book for Christmas?" a reader asks anxiously. There is indeed - The Herald Diary - Staggeringly Good! It has a picture of a stag on the front which explains the title. Naturally the General Election was covered, and includes the yarn of the Scot who remarked: "I liked the live reports from Scottish election counts. It's the only time the rest of the UK gets to see us in a gym."

A COLLEAGUE catches our eye and wants to talk about the new Mary Poppins film that is being made. We have to hand it to him as he managed to take a deep breath and tell us faultlessly: "It's going to be a very dark film. The new Mary Poppins will feature a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."