Watching paint dry is regarded as one of the dullest things to do but this might match it - the Scottish heats of the British Pipesmoking Championships at Dunblane Hydro in 1979. The contest consisted of smokers being given an identical amount of tobacco and matching pipes. They are then given two matches, five minutes to fill their bowls, and then carefully puff away to see who can make their baccy last the longest. The winner clocked in at 66 minutes.

Elizabeth Turner, centre, from Mount Florida, Glasgow, won the female contest - by dint of being the only female contestant. She did puff up a creditable 48 minutes however. The winner, Edward Smith, was a member of the Tontine Campers Pipe Club in Peebles. There actually were pipe clubs in those days. I cannot imagine how exciting club nights were.