Depending on flight connections, nod-and-a-wink dealings with border control and my ability to perform a variety of nimble, clandestine manoeuvrings to stay one step ahead of the Minneapolis Police Department, I should have successfully scrambled my way under the razor wire, put on my disguise and nestled myself into the Hazeltine media centre by the time you sit down to read these weekly wafflings.

“Welcome to the 41st Ryder Cup Mr, ahem, Rodger Nicklaus?,” says the accreditation administrator with more than a hint of narrow-eyed suspicion. “Why thank you my dear,” comes the response as I doff my stovepipe hat and give my fake moustache an elaborate twirl. Well, hopefully that’s how the conversation goes.

Of course, getting into good old US of A these days is a bit of a fouter and this correspondent’s passage is not helped by the myriad rules and regulations of American Customs which dictate that “obscene articles are generally prohibited entry”. The Tuesday column is never that bad surely?

Did you know some 17,592 hours will have passed since the final day of the 2014 Ryder Cup at Gleneagles and the start of this weekend’s bunfight on Friday? Why, of course you did.

Ever since Europe romped to victory in that duel in the Glen two years ago, you’ve not been able to take your eyes off that tick-tocking clock sitting up there on the mantelpiece. At least that’s what us fevered peddlers in the media think. You’ve probably got better things to do with your time than continually ponder and pontificate over 24 men battering a ball around for three days.

But that’s the Ryder Cup in the modern era. It’s the most over analysed event in golf and no showpiece occasion commands as much hype and hysteria as the biennial battle for this little gold chalice.

Every single aspect of the coming together is pored over with kind of forensic attention to detail that used to be adopted by Mary Berry as she poked and prodded at the bottom of a Victoria Sponge.

Captains, vice-captains, potential pairings, picks, non-picks, jingoism, the presence of Tiger Woods, bonding sessions, course set-up, team-room ambience, soaring oratory, attire, sturdiness of waterproofs, the role of the wives and girlfriends?

You name it, everything is flung into the bubbling pot as drooling observers seek to find an area where either team can gain some form of one-upmanship.

Of course, it’s Team Europe who have been on the up over the past decade or so with eight wins from 10 encounters. For the first time in the event’s history, they could win four in a row. After the anguish of defeat at Medinah in 2012, the whole US Ryder Cup approach unravelled in controversy and criticism at Gleneagles two years when they collapsed into a dysfunctional heap.

Phil Mickelson’s cold-blooded, public filleting of Tom Watson’s captaincy may as well have been done with a double-edged sword. On one hand, Mickelson was flogged for his withering, dishonourable dissing of a golfing icon as he went against the unwritten code of conduct that states all grumblings of discontent should be kept in the team room. On the other, the Californian was patted on the back for unveiling the home truths of the USA’s seemingly slap dash approach and instigating the formation of the instantly mockable Task Force.

Instead of disaccord and disarray, there is now grinning talk of harmony and unity. Dictatorship, it seems, has been replaced by democracy and everybody, from players to past captains, have been given a say in this elaborate process. No so much my way, more his way and his way, oh, and don’t forget his way.

While the Europeans purposefully go about their business with a clear line of succession, continuity and clarity, the US, and in particular Mickelson, have tried to emulate this ‘system’ and, as a result, have piled even more pressure on themselves.

Mickelson and the rest of the players have got what they wanted with the formation of the Task Force. If they lose another Ryder Cup, they'll only have themselves to blame this time.

As ever in the relentless, round-the-houses Ryder Cup build up, there are more questions than answers. Mercifully, the start of the actual golf itself will provide a few of those come the weekend. As one frazzled commentator once remarked, ‘when it’s all said and done, that’s when the talking has to stop’.